Human
by TheSilverWarrior
Summary: The interaction between human beings is like a dance. But what makes some one human? After a moment's loss of control, Raven begins to question her humanity, fearful of what she could become. Is she human? Or something else? BBRae
1. The Dance

This fanfiction was inspired by the song Human by The Killers. I suggest you listen to it. It's awesome. However, this is not a songfic. I hope you enjoy the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or Human.

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The Titans danced.

That was the only way Raven could possibly describe what they did. They danced. When the enemy attacked, the Titans dodged, defended, distracted. They trusted each other with their life, was ready to step in and help when and where it was needed. They were ready for what the enemy would to do and was prepared to improvise. Fights were battles filled with give and take.

The Titans danced.

Sometimes they danced so well, they didn't know where they ended and the enemy began. Sometimes the team danced so well, Raven couldn't be sure where she began and her friends ended.

In fact, when Raven thought about it, everything they did was a dance. A neat sidestep to avoid a prank. A casual duck to avoid a sonic beam when Cyborg was repairing his arm. A quick spin to exit the room that she'd just entered to see Robin and Starfire in a close embrace. The quick exchange of verbal blows.

The Titans danced.

But as they grew up more, they had their stumbles. Beastboy especially. He constantly got on Raven's nerves, occasionally reverted to his original immaturity, and—worst of all in Raven's opinion—was still childishly innocent of exactly what it was he did.

"Hey Rae! We're goin' out for pizza. You comin'?" Beastboy's voice filtered through Raven's door, interrupting her thoughts. She blinked up at the ceiling for a moment before replying.

"Yes." Raven hoped he would leave after receiving an answer, but knew better. He would be there when she opened the door, just as he was every other time. She got up and straightened her cloak with a sigh, pulling down the dark green t-shirt that had ridden up her back while she was lying down. All of the Titans had started to wear civilian clothes while at home and while going out for a leisurely time when they weren't expecting trouble. Although, when Raven drily pointed out that they had never expected trouble before but had gotten it, Robin had ordered their civilian clothes special—made out of the same durable material as their uniforms. Raven's cloak was her only exception to the civilian clothes.

The chest containing Malchior rattled as Raven strode past it, and she gave it a kick for good measure. She could feel Beastboy's uncomfortable impatience just outside her door. _Probably leaning against it—again,_ Raven thought, shaking her head. _He never learns_.

Raven opened her door and pushed Beastboy upright as he started to fall over, removing her hands from his back as soon as he got his balance back. _Like a dance…_ The words echoed in her head.

"You should know better by now," she said blandly.

Beastboy scratched his head sheepishly. "Yeah, I know." Raven just shook her head. She knew that he'd keep doing it no matter what she said.

"Let's go."

Raven was several feet down the hall before the green teen caught up with her. After a few moments of Raven's sedate pace Beastboy started to fidget impatiently. His stomach growled loudly. Raven could feel between her shoulders itch from Beastboy's impatience, could taste it in her mouth.

"Why?" She asked suddenly. _Why?_ She asked again in her mind. There were so many questions, even after all these years.

"Why what?" They were at the elevator now. The carpet made a _shush_ing sound as Beastboy shuffled his feet. Looking at him out of the corner of her eye, Raven could see that his mind was far away, already seeing the pizza being placed before the five of them. His stomach grumbled again just as the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival. They hurriedly stepped into the boxed space before the doors could slide closed.

"Why don't you just leave and wait with the others? Why do you always wait?" Raven studied his face, looking for an answer. Right there were his eyes staring ahead at the elevator door, their brilliant green somewhat obscured by his dark green locks of hair, though now they were more mature, sharper. At times Raven could swear that they could pierce right through her. There was his nose, longer and slightly crooked from multiple broken noses. Right there below barely discernable stubble was his mouth, firm and full wearing a slight frown as he concentrated on being patient. And right there were his ears, their points drooping slightly.

"I dunno. Why don't you just phase through the floor? Why deal with me any longer than you need to?" Beastboy's voice brought her, once again, out of her thoughts. She frowned slightly in thought.

"I don't know," she said. "I suppose it's because you're my friend."

Beastboy nodded. "Then that's my answer too."

There was silence again. The elevator seemed to be going exceptionally slow; Raven felt the itch between her shoulders worsen while the faint flavor in her mouth grew more bitter by the second. Her discomfort grew in ratio to Beastboy's impatience, and soon she was studying him to distract herself.

They'd all grown up, but the change in Beastboy was the most shocking.He'd grown taller in the past few years, hitting a growth spurt that caused him to shoot up about four inches in a month, therefore leaving Raven to be the shortest of the Titans. His shoulders were broader and he was considerably more muscular than his younger self. His face was more angular, almost elflike. His voice, once so high pitched, was now a low tenor. He'd matured and grown wiser, a change that Raven marked as taking place after Terra. And yet, even with all those changes, he still managed to be the same old Beastboy—loyal to a fault, trusting, annoying, and stubborn, he used the same corny jokes, still played the same videogames, still pulled the same pranks.

Raven faced the elevator door as it dinged open and Beastboy practically ran out, inwardly shaking her head. _How can someone be so different, and yet still stay so much the same?_

"Raven! C'mon!" Beastboy called from next to Cyborg. Cyborg had grown as well, though his mechanical parts prevented exponential growth. The human part of his face had grown more square and lean. He'd also grown more muscular where he was human and his voice was lower. His machine parts had been updated several times and he'd changed the color a few times, but he'd always returned to the blue and silver chrome. Other than that, he was almost exactly the same.

"Yeah, you want us to starve?" Cyborg's baritone boomed. _Never,_ thought Raven, but played along.

"You could certainly stand to lose a few pounds," she smirked.

"Yeah, Cyborg," Starfire joined in, mischief gleaming in her green eyes. "You have been getting harder to carry these days." Starfire's english had improved immensely over the years though she occasionally slipped when she was under stress or was flustered. She was possibly the one who looked the most the same, next to Cyborg and Raven. She had trimmed her cherry hair so that it fell to her waist and had exchanged her former uniform for one less revealing of her hourglass figure now that she was together with Robin. She had perhaps grown three inches, but other than that, Starfire was the same old Starfire.

"Guys, cut it out. We need to go." Robin's voice hadn't changed all that much. Neither had his personality. However, his physique was another matter entirely. He'd shot up almost as much as Beastboy, making the height order of the Titans, from tallest to shortest: Cyborg, Robin, Beastboy, Starfire, and Raven. Robin had gained quite a bit of visible muscle. His uniform had changed to one not quite so colorful. He had, however, refused to let his hair grow out, much to Starfire's disappointment.

The usual race to the T-car ensued. Raven watched for a second and smirked. Darkness enveloped her for a moment and when it cleared, she was sitting shotgun in the high tech vehicle, smirking as her friends stared at her.

"We really need to set some rules for this sort of thing," Beastboy muttered.

Raven shook her head slightly, unseen within her hood. The race didn't really matter after all. It was more tradition than anything else in the end, because Cyborg always drove, and Robin always wanted to sit next to Starfire. That only left Raven and Beastboy to actually compete over the front seat.

The fight for what kind of pizza to get was another Titan tradition. Volleys of words were always thrown about, little digs over preferences, meant to tease and not to hurt. They always ordered a large meat lover's pizza, a medium cheese, and a small bottle of mustard. Always. It was an event they'd preformed many times over the years, practiced until it was second nature to the team.

_Like a dance…_


	2. Demon

New chapter! Yes! Action in this one. Things start happening. Well, at the beginning anyhow. But I promise the pace _will_ pick up. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Your support is wonderful and helped me have the drive to write the second chapter. Thanks again.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, but I wish I did.

It wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Not ever. But somehow, impossibly, it had. It _was_. No way to avoid it. Thoughts scurried about in Raven's mind.

Because, at that very moment, Beastboy was falling. Plummeting, more like. The distance between his body and the broken pavement below it was closing fast. Raven distantly heard herself cry out, felt her energy wrap around her to transport her beneath his falling form. There was an odd clarity to her thoughts, a detachment, almost as if she was watching a mildly interesting TV show.

_I've got to catch him. If he hits the ground, he'll likely die._ Somehow, Raven's mind was calculating and logical even as she felt panic at the very idea. _Can't lose him. Can't lose any of them. Get there, get there, get there_—and she was there, beneath him, watching the broken body of her team mate get closer and closer. Her senses heightened. She could smell the sweat all around her as her remaining team mates struggled to overcome their opponent, could hear the crashes, grunts, panting around her and, oddly, the sound of a bird flying over them. She could see the trickle of blood on the side of Beastboy's mouth, the smallest rip in his uniform, the bruise forming on his forehead, the odd angles of his leg and arm.

Just before he crashed into her, Raven saw him open his eyes in confusion. He looked over her shoulder and his eyes widened.

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_Beep…Beep…Beep…_

Raven came to slowly, her dreams fading. She registered a headache beginning to form, helped along by the shrill beeping sound that had roused her. Clenching her eyes shut, she willed down the nausea that was creeping up on her and forced herself to think and take stock.

_Beep…Beep…Beep…_

_What's that noise?_ Raven cast about in her head for the answer, trying to ignore her aching head. No idea. Then the sterile scent hit her. _Must be in the med-bay. _She carefully moved her limbs. No bruises. No broken bones. _Why am I here?_ She tried to remember. She didn't even remember blacking out. Just Beastboy blinking at her.

Raven mentally reached out, searching for an emotional signature. There was one. Its tightly wound emotions were familiar to her mind, tinged with the gentle velvet sensation of dreamless sleep. It called to her, easing the pounding in her head. She wanted to wrap herself in his dreamlessness. She wanted to _so_ much. But she couldn't. That was and his alone. It would be an invasion of his privacy to delve into that velvet. Raven sighed as she slowly drew away from the comfort and opened her eyes, turning her head to look at him.

Beastboy was laying on his side facing her, deeply asleep. There was a red mark on his cheek where it had been pressed against a fold in the pillow right next to a scratch that stretched from just below his left eye to his jaw line. His left arm was in a clean white splint and, judging by the unusual bulk under the thin white sheet, so was his leg. A dark bruise covered half of his forehead, turning the skin there a deep, foresty green. There was a slight frown on his lips, marring the peacefulness smoothed onto the rest of his face.

_He must be sore_, Raven thought sympathetically. _The anesthesia must be wearing off_. Even as she thought it, the faint scent of pain wafted into her empathic nose—a scent that reminded her of burnt chicken. Raven crinkled her physical nose. She tried to get up to walk over to the green changeling but found herself unable to. Something was restraining her, forcing her back into the bed. She looked over and down at her wrists. Raven's eyes widened in confusion. A vase on the bedside table shattered.

There were shackles of silvery metal around her wrists with a thick blue beam of light connecting it to the bed frame, preventing her from moving her arm more than three or four inches. Looking down she saw that her ankles were bound thus as well. It was most distinctly Cyborg's work.

Raven felt herself lose control as panic sent tendrils throughout her mind. _Why would Cyborg cuff me?_ The light above her exploded. The heart monitor next to her sparked and collapsed in on itself. Raven saw the light above Beastboy start to flicker and forced herself to calm down, to regain control. Losing control wouldn't solve anything.

Several deep breathes later Raven was as calm as anyone chained up could be. She allowed herself to relax slightly in the absence of the shrill beeping from the heart monitor, mentally chanting to herself. _Azarath, metrion, zinthos. Azarath, metrion, zin—_

The sound of running interrupted Raven's thoughts. She looked over as the door hissed open and three bodies crashed and fell through it. If Raven had been in the mood to laugh, she might've at the rather comical scene. Robin was at the bottom of the pile, Starfire on top, and Cyborg sandwiched between the two. All three flushed in embarrassment and quickly picked themselves up, Robin looking rather flattened and out of breath. All three looked around and saw Raven at about the same time.

"Raven! You are awake!" Starfire cried, hovering in the air.

"Hey Rae," said Cyborg, grinning. Robin just looked at her. Raven gazed stonily at all three.

"Hello." Raven's voice was icy. "I'd wave, but it seems that _someone_ has me chained." Cyborg chuckled nervously. Starfire stood on the ground. Robin just watched her. _Like a predator watches another predator,_ Raven thought uneasily.

"Heh heh…you noticed that, didja?" Cyborg asked nervously. Raven gave him a cold glare. "Yeah, about that…" Cyborg trailed off, rubbing his hand over his head.

There was a long, tension-filled silence. Raven did not feel the desire to break it. What she felt the need for was to find out what was going on. Beastboy shifted in his sleep and Raven flicked a glance at him, the empath in her wanting to heal him, the demon side enjoying his pain. No sound was made. No ticking, no beeping, barely even the sound of breathing. No one made a move.

And then the silence was broken.

"Oh, but it was necessary, Friend Raven!" Starfire cried, her voice tight with misery. "You were so mad and no one could make you do the cooling-of-the-down. And you were so much _scary_." Starfire had slipped back into her old way of speaking and Raven felt herself soften to her distress.

"Just—" Raven sighed and tried to raise a hand to her head only to have it jerked back down by her bindings. She sighed again. "Just tell me what's going on here." Her voice sounded quiet and small to her ears; no hint of her normal strength was within it.

"You don't remember?" Robin spoke sharply, still examining her warily.

"Obviously not," Raven replied drily.

Robin looked at her for a moment before responding. "You lost control Raven. You lost it and we had to knock you out for you to get it back. You nearly tore Cinderblock and Plasmus to pieces! You knocked out _Starfire_! You threw Cyborg and me into a building _three_ separate times! How can you not remember that?" Robin's voice had risen to a shout as he glared hotly at her.

Had Raven not been already laying on the bed, she would have collapsed at his words. As it was, she closed her eyes and clenched her fists, fighting down the despair that threatened to overwhelm her, the anger that tried to consume her. _What's wrong with me?_ She thought in tearful frustration. She was aware of the sound of shattering glass and forced herself to calm down. The shackles around her wrists and ankles seemed to get tighter and to burn into her skin. _Like handcuffs from hell…_

Raven took a deep breath and shakily let it out. "Tell me what happened," she said without opening her eyes.

"What's the last thing you remember?" That was Cyborg's voice, comforting despite the worry in it.

"Beastboy falling towards me. That's it."

"That's where we should start then, I suppose." Raven could hear him deliberately laying out the bait for her, and she took it to regain some normalcy. _Thank you Cyborg._

"You think?" She heard Cyborg chuckle and Starfire giggle. Robin was silent.

"Well, I'll make it short and sweet—er…yeah. Anyhow, you caught Beastboy fine. The force from him falling kind of smashed you into Cinderblock's punch though. I ain't never seen someone hit a wall that fast before. Man, I thought that you'd be knocked unconscious or worse, but you stood up and shook the dust from your cloak as if nothing happened. I dunno what you did, girl, but whatever it was, it probably saved both of your lives. But that's where the trouble starts." Cyborg paused and took a deep breath. "You didn't even move. You just looked at Cinderblock and suddenly he was, like, _covered_ in your magic, squeezing him. It was probably lucky for him—to an extent—that Plasmus tried to sneak up on you from behind. You just picked him up the same way. You kinda floated Plasmus to the front of you and you just…_stared_ at those two, stared at 'em hard, like you were thinkin'. You'd quit squeezin' Cinderblock by then. And then you just—I dunno exactly what you did, actually. All I know is that suddenly Cinderblock and Plasmus were _screaming_. We figured out what was goin' on when Plasmus' arms started to stretch." Cyborg paused for a moment. Raven could feel his reluctance to continue, but continue he did. "We ran at you to try to talk some sense into ya, but there was no talkin' sense. You smashed all three of us into a wall when we got too close. Starfire tried to do ya in, but you grabbed her and smashed her into the ground then threw her, knocking her unconscious. I went around to your front to distract you while Robin came up from behind, but you got both of us. And god, Rae, your eyes were _red_. Like in Nevermore and everything. It took us a while to knock you out, but when we did, you went back to normal. Robin thought that the best thing to do would be to neutralize your telekinetic power somehow. And…that's why you've got those cuffs on." Cyborg stopped talking.

There was another long silence as Raven took it all in. Disbelief poured itself through her veins like poison, striking deep into her heart. Then pain as she felt the odd mixture of an acrid scent similar to burning hair and the sharp, nauseating flavor of burnt toast.

Her friends were afraid of her.

_And they should be_, Raven thought in despair. _I'm a demon._

The word echoed through her mind as she heard and felt her friends quietly slip out of the room. _Demon, demon, demon, demon._

Demon.

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Please Review! What do you think of this chapter?


	3. Alive

Sorry the update took so long y'all. I wish I could say that I had a good reason for taking so long, but I can't. Please forgive me, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

Raven stared listlessly up at the fluorescent lighting above her, dimly noting the irony of such pure white light being cast upon one such as her. Her internal clock kept the time even as she lost herself amongst the dust motes dancing in the air.

She had ceased to struggle against her captivity hours ago, and now lay there wearily watching the seconds slip by. Cyborg had stopped in to check on her a couple times in the past hour or so, but Raven did not acknowledge him. She understood the reasons for her binds, agreed to and accepted them even. But she still did not like it. Not one bit. Earlier on, a few hours after she had awoken, Raven felt claustrophobia clench a fist around her heart, sending her into minor panics. She'd struggled against her binds, rubbing her wrists raw, until she'd gained control again.

She'd nearly lost it the last time, though that was brought on by desperation to heal rather than escape. Beastboy had somehow slept on, but she had felt the pain building in him as the pain medication wore off. It drove her wild, like an itch she couldn't scratch. Cyborg had finally given him more meds, but not before she saw for herself the exact reason she was shackled. In her desperation, she'd momentarily lost control. Several lights had shattered. Her power consumed the room, even with the power neutralizers embedded within her shackles. Raven had even _felt_ her eyes separate into four glowing red ones. It took several minutes to calm down, a feat only made possible by the administration of the drugs to the green teen only three feet away from her. After that, Raven had quit fighting her binds, hating herself even more. A hate that was tempered by fear. Fear of herself—of what she might do, of what she _could_ do.

_I don't even know why it bothered me that much,_ Raven thought to herself. _They've all been hurt worse and I've not been able to do anything. What's so different this time?_ After several minutes of deep thought, she decided it was because she'd had such a fright from him during the battle, what with her thinking he was dead, and because she was subconsciously—as well as consciously—desperate to redeem herself. An aftershock, per say.

Raven gradually grew aware of a slight lightening of Beastboy's slumber. The soft velvet of his sleep was slowly drawing back, and she forced herself to become aware of him. It wouldn't do to seem so out of it.

The velvet of Beastboy's sleep faded until it disappeared completely with his gentle awakening sigh. Raven looked over at him and watched him open his eyes, preparing herself for the barrage of emotions that would soon come. She locked eyes with him as they opened and she couldn't help but admire the different shades in them. She waited for his emotions to flow over her. Several minutes passed before she realized that his emotions were already as overwhelming as they were going to get—a gentle, soothing surf against the bare edges of her psyche. Raven also realized that she'd been staring into Beastboy's eyes the entire time it had taken her to realize it.

Raven quickly looked away and returned to staring at the lights, embarrassment tinting her cheeks a faint pink for a bare moment before shame raised its ugly head again.

_I lost control. I could have killed him_, Raven thought miserably. She thought back to Cyborg's description of what happened, Beastboy at her feet. _And I almost did._ She closed her eyes, unable to bear seeing the whiteness glaring down at her.

"Raven?" Her companion's voice, quiet though it was, seemed to shatter the heavy silence in the room. Raven looked away from the ceiling and stared at the white wall beside her, not wanting to look at him. "Why are you handcuffed?"

Raven pressed her face further into her pillow, fighting back tears. _He doesn't know. Dear Azar, he doesn't remember._ She didn't know if it was a good or bad thing.

She cleared her throat. "They're…power neutralizers."

"But why?" Beastboy's voice was genuinely confused.

"Because I lost control." _Azerath… metrion… zinthos… azerath… metrion… zinthos…_

Silence. Raven squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to ease the ache caused by it, forcing herself to take slow, deep breathes while chanting in her head. After what seemed like hours, she had herself marginally under control and became aware of an itching at the back of her mind.

Beastboy shifted and she glanced over at him, immediately noticing his expression of pain and discomfort. "Come here, Beastboy."

The green young man complied to her order and gingerly stood up, limping the few feet to her bed. At a gesture from her, he carefully lowered the side bar and sat on the bed, placing his injured leg next to her outstretched hand. That done, Raven started to heal him, a clean blue glow emanating from her hand. Beastboy watched silently for a few moments before speaking.

"How can you do that if you're wearing power neutralizers?"

Raven replied distractedly. "Because I'm not doing the actual healing. It's kind of like…I'm ordering your body to heal itself. I get the pain, because it needs to go somewhere, but you're body does the healing."

Beastboy's emotions still projected confusion at her. "Isn't that still your power?"

Raven sighed. "It's very hard to explain. Perhaps the most accurate way to describe it is that... well, you know that all minds have a wavelength, yes?" Beastboy nodded. "Then think of it as me having a powerful, more directed brainwave that I can consciously change to match that of another person—within limits. And if I match that of another person's, I can make the body react how I wish it to. In this case, speeding up the healing process."

Glancing at him, Raven saw understanding light up Beastboy's eyes. "So…kind of like a super-special mind-control!"

Despite her situation, Raven felt the urge to smile. "No, more like concentrating really hard."

"Ah…" It was a mark of how much Beastboy had grown up that he didn't continue asking questions he knew would be uncomfortable for her. Silence once again graced the air between them.

Several minutes passed before Raven motioned that she was done with the healing, temporarily grateful that she was already lying down. While it was possible to heal every single one of Beastboy's injuries while only touching his leg, it was much more difficult than when she was able to be in direct contact with each wound.

She hissed in pain when her companion accidentally jarred her in the process of hopping off the bed.

"Oh god, I'm sorry Rae." A wash of worry tickled at her mind. "Are you okay?"

Raven clenched her teeth. "Yeah…just really, really sore now."

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Tea, please. It works the best, I've found."

At her words, Beastboy rushed from the room, clunking along in the cast he hadn't taken the time to remove. Just before the door hissed shut, Raven heard him lose his balance and pitch forward, and the twitch in her shoulder told her that he'd fallen on it. Then he was back on his feet, hobbling along as fast as he was able.

With no one to distract her, Raven was fully struck by the pain and she gasped, fingers twisting in the sheeting and her body tensing up. She forced herself to breathe deeply, ruefully realizing that Beastboy had been injured more than she'd previously thought. _Lots of bruising. Cracked ribs, skull, and elbow. Sprained ankle. Broken leg and arm. Five serious scratches. A toothache—probably from those caramel apple pops he's been eating for the last three months. _She listed them in her head.

Her musings were interrupted by a now unencumbered Beastboy rushing into the room, somehow managing not to spill any tea.

"Here you go," he said, placing the large mug he'd gotten her last Christmas on the small table next to the bed. The first verse of "Silent Night" was scripted gracefully in silver on the dark blue mug and she felt a wash of comfort come over her for a moment as she saw it. "Just give me a moment and I'll get those…_things_ off of you." He spared the shackles on Raven's wrists a purely disgusted look. "Cyborg gave me the code and told me to tell you that you're free to go now."

Raven watched him tap some squares on one of the cuffs and immediately felt it click open. As he leaned over her to do the same to the other one, she stopped him, ignoring their close proximity to each other. "No. Leave it."

Beastboy leveled a look at her. "Why?"

Raven gave him what she hoped was a condescending glare. "I only need one hand to drink tea, Beastboy."

"Cy said you could go."

"Forget what he said."

"Why do you want to stay locked up?"

"Who said I _wanted_ to?"

Beastboy furrowed his brows. "Then let me take that thing off you!"

"No."

The silence in the med bay was thunderous as the two teammates faced off, neither willing to back down. Gradually, the awkwardness of their positions intruded into their silent battle, Raven becoming increasingly more aware of the warmth radiating off of what her mind kept reminding her was an adult male body, the bare inch and a half between their faces thoroughly distracting in its massive invasion of her personal space. Before the situation could be rectified, the med bay doors hissed open to allow a bundle of emotions that practically screamed _Cyborg!_ at her.

The movement of the emotions stopped abruptly. "Whoops. Didn't mean to interrupt." The amused, knowing tone in his voice sent a prickle of annoyance through Raven that disappeared almost instantly in light of the situation. She didn't even spare him a half-hearted glare before turning her head away to stare blankly at the wall. She saw Beastboy blush out of the corner of her eye but he didn't move.

"She won't let me unlock the other neutralizer!" Beastboy exclaimed to Cyborg, almost accusingly. _Does he blame Cyborg for this?_ "Make her see reason, Cy!"

Cyborg didn't reply, instead walking around the other side of the bed to stand in Raven's line of sight, his metallic steps echoing faintly off the walls. Raven looked up at him, trying to tell him with her eyes him how much she was didn't want to be released, how much she would fight it. He looked down at her and for the first time, both his face and the emotions swathed about him were unreadable. There was a long silence in which Raven refused to allow herself to weaken to her revulsion of her shackle and tell him to take it off. Beastboy's confusion and frustration swirled about her, getting stronger every second of silence that passed until Raven could taste his fear and worry.

"Let me keep them, Cyborg," she said, carefully keeping her voice flat and emotionless. "Until we're sure it won't happen again."

Cyborg examined her for a moment longer before answering, defeat showing through his eye. "You sure, Rae?"

Raven nodded, ignoring Beastboy's sputtering protests and pushing at his chest to make him move away from her. He sat on the edge of the bed, crossed his arms, and scowled. "I'm sure."

Cyborg sighed and dropped his gaze, running a hand over his head. "Then let's make a deal. None of us wants to see you cuffed. So you have to promise that if the team agrees that you it's okay for you not to wear the neutralizers after a couple of weeks that you will take them off without a fight." Raven nodded again. "But you're going to have to take the other one off for a little bit so I can modify both of them into bracelets so you don't have to stay here any longer than you have to."

Raven looked away from him and at the ceiling, nodding her assent. Cyborg reached out a hand to enter the code, but she held up her other hand to stop him. "No," she said. "Let Beastboy do it." He removed his hand and Beastboy once again leaned over her to release her wrist. It only took a few seconds, but the entire time she could feel Cyborg scrutinizing her as if looking for something while she steadfastedly kept her gaze locked on the ceiling and her face blank.

Her hand twitched involuntarily as she felt the shackle click open and cool air touch the bruising on her wrist from trying to free herself. She felt a warm finger brush against it before Beastboy drew back and handed Raven her tea. His face was carefully smoothed of all emotion when she glanced over at him and his emotions was once again a gentle surf, which completely confused her considering the kinds of emotions that she _could_ feel.

"Thank you," she breathed to him. He nodded, not looking at her. Cyborg quietly left the room, shackles in hand. And suddenly Raven wanted Beastboy to look at her—_needed_ him to look at her. She needed to see his eyes to be sure he was really alive. She put her tea down on the bedside table without taking a sip, bare seconds after it had been handed to her. The soft _clunk_ sound drew Beastboy's eyes to it, but still he didn't look at her.

"Beastboy…" Raven started to speak, but wasn't sure how to continue. Her green friend didn't reply, his shoulders and neck stiff with tension. "Please look at me." She hated the pleading note in her voice, but she couldn't help it.

Beastboy didn't glance over, and still his emotions were faint, too faint to read clearly.

Raven couldn't stand it anymore. She forced herself to sit upright despite the last dregs of pain and dizziness from working as much healing as she had without sustenance. Before the green teen could move, she'd grabbed his chin in one hand and turned his head towards her, her grip gentle but firm. His eyes looked away from her, instead staring at her bruised wrist. "Please?" She felt desperate, as if clinging to the last wisps of a dream she wasn't supposed to forget. She was afraid that if she couldn't see his eyes in the silence that she was dreaming everything and that he was really dead, his body broken.

Something of her fear must have been communicated to him, because he suddenly looked up. She held his gaze for a moment, letting his clear green eyes reassure her, then gently released his chin and lay back down with a sigh. "Thank you, Beastboy."

And now, at last, a clear emotion wafted towards her: confusion. "What for?" Beastboy's voice was soft as she wearily closed her eyes, already falling asleep. "Why did you want me to look at you?"

Raven felt herself smile slightly, a slight upturning at the corners of her lips that only Beastboy had ever caught. When she spoke, her voice was muzzy with sleep, her mind already falling into its soft embrace. "For letting me know you were really alive."


End file.
